Let’s talk about something not often discussed in professional circles, but very real for so many of us, especially those of us who seem like we’ve got it all together on the outside.

High-functioning depression. It sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? Functioning. Depressed. But it’s not. Is it a clinical term? No probably not. (Well definitely not…I looked it up!)

What does it mean? It means showing up to work, meeting deadlines, staying upbeat in meetings, helping others, being productive, and all the while, carrying a quiet, heavy weight that no one else sees.

I live in this space most days. From the moment I get up, to the moment I go to sleep, it’s a full-time job to manage my energy, my emotions, and that underlying ache that doesn’t seem to have an easy answer.

Am I seeking help? Yes. I have a therapist. Is it solving everything? Not exactly. But it gives me a safe place to vent. It gives me a space to unpack some of the big questions like, where is this all coming from?

• Is it grief? I lost both my parents during COVID.
• Is it aging? I mean getting old is inevitable and it’s better than the alternative.
• Is it the endless stream of bad news from a world that feels like it’s teetering on the edge? That’s a whole other thing to unpack.

It’s probably all of it. And none of it. Depression doesn’t always give you a clean cause-and-effect roadmap. Believe me, I’ve tried to map it out to figure out the cause and effect.

And I know I’m not alone in this.

A lot of us, especially in roles that involve caring, creating, serving, and selling, are “on” all the time. We work in industries that demand optimism and resilience. As OSCs, we’re the front line of communication, the emotional pulse of our companies, the ones who smile through the screen and say, “How can I help you today?” even when we’re barely holding it together ourselves.

Here’s what I’m learning to do, and maybe this helps someone else:

Limit the Noise

I’m trying to consume less media. It’s hard. I’m a curious person, and I want to be informed. But sometimes, scrolling (or doom scrolling as I tend to do) the news or reading the comments section (seriously, just don’t) is like watching a train wreck in slow motion… every single day. So, I’m setting boundaries. Not always perfectly. But I try.

Get Outside My Head

If I’m going to scroll, I’m trying to scroll comedy reels. Or even better get out of my house and out of my space. Comedy shows help. Seriously. Laughter is medicine, even if it’s a temporary distraction. Water is another escape for me. I also feel most at peace when I’m underwater, or at least near it. That’s why my backyard has turned into what we lovingly call “the water park.” Between my pool, hot tub, and (wo)manmade waterfall, it’s not just a place to relax. It’s my sanctuary. There’s something about water that resets me.

Don’t Take It Out on People You Love

This is a hard one. When you’re hurting, it’s easy to lash out. But my husband, Chris, is such a good human. And I know he’s feeling it too. We’re both carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders some days. So, grace. We give it to each other, even when we’re tired and cranky and feeling all the things.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Did I do the dishes today? Yes? Win.
Did I write this blog post? Double win.

Some days, that’s enough. And we have to stop measuring success by massive achievements or perfection. Sometimes, the biggest victory is just making it through the day. Or helping one person. Or answering that one tough email. Or showing up.

Give Yourself Grace

This is the big one.

You can’t fix everything. You can’t solve the world’s problems. And you can’t always “just be happy,” no matter how many inspirational memes you see.

But you can give yourself permission to be, even if that means being messy, being uncertain, being tired. You can celebrate what you’ve done right, no matter how small. You can let go of the need to be perfect, and instead… be present.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s me,” just know, you’re not broken. You’re not alone. And you’re not failing.

You’re human.

High-functioning depression is real. But so is hope. So is joy. So is healing. And so is grace, the kind you extend to others, and the kind you deserve to give yourself. Let’s keep showing up, together. And when in doubt…pet a dog.

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Written from the backyard “water park,” on an unseasonably warm day. Coffee in hand, dishes mostly done, petting a dog. A great contemplation as Thanksgiving approaches.